And tonight's was the best of them yet. I'm... I'm so, SO terribly unprepared (and DREADING) tomorrow's closing matinee. Ironically? End. Of. Story.

Full review of the following performance, past shows, pictures, dance party extraordinare, and older-teen-between-shows-Seuss-PCP-perverted-pizza-picnic (whew, haha) soon to come, preferably after both family awards banquet/cast party. I apologiiiize: I know my posts have been... lacking magic lately, but I swear on Mother Mary that I will MOAR than just make it up in both photo and woobie dump :] For now? Too exhausted... too hyped... and yet all too hackin' bummed. G'night, all... <:(

<3

**I apologize GREATLY in advance for the following vent, for auditions have yet to prove themselves a friend to me recently.

I didn't get my solo for Spring Concert. All of my friends (whom did try out, of course) received their's...

All - except for ME.

... I truly thought I had deserved it. And I'm tired of those who don't accepting them...! Though, perhaps I just wasn't right for this production; true-- I'm utterly glad for all of my buds whom are getting the chance to perform for the first/second time, considering that I had had my own piece during our Winter Concert. It's just--... UGH.

It's still disappointing. Especially when those around you don't care to acknowledge - wrapped up madly within their own contentment - the concept of tears pouring down your face [And yet I KNOW they'd feel the same]. (Yes, I cried. I felt the right to be a bit upset) Indeed, this shall be yet another humbling experience for me and I expect to learn a great deal from said experience; honestly... I don't mean to bitch and moan! I never meant to snap... It merely puts oneself into a dreadful, BEATING sort of mind-set, and-- It just, for lack of a better word, SUCKS. Majorly.

... But you know what? Our Cappies Acomendee/Nominee Ceremony took place this evening (just 2 weeks before the official gala). And you know WHAT?!

I GOT A MEDAL.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, ya'll. XD

I didn't make it into Vocal Ensemble...

And - as if my day didn't suck enough already - guess what?

Socha has been confirmed as the new proceeding Wendla.

FUCK MY LIFE.

Monday: Same ol', same ol'... Bleh.

Tuesday: HORROR. Absolute horror. You see, for the past few rehearsals for OtTC, each time we get to my first opening scene (containing two out of my grand total of three lines), we somehow manage to switch casts - unfortunately, my cast is the group who gets to take a nice little breather. Same thing happened on Tuesday night, and, BOY - was I pissed! Opening week is only two weeks away, and I've had virtually no stage time WHATSOEVER!!

I tried hard not to let it bother me, and whilst Mimi was up as Agnes yet again, I was called into the drama room for a costume and make-up check - you know, just to make sure I knew what to do with my hair and that all my dresses were on their hangers, ready to go. Hilariously enough, while I was back there, the directors decided to flip casts AGAIN - only, no one felt the need to come back there and tell me. So, when leaving the drama room, I couldn't help but notice Olivia up on stage dramatically weeping without me... or anyone. Not even Mimi was up there to take my place; WTF?!!

Annoyed (although, I must say, it fit perfectly within the context of this scene), I rushed up there and quickly blurted out my lines - I was never even given the chance to run through the entire scene, blocking and all! I know that this, indeed, tends to happen at rehearsals, but I wasn't even being recognized as a person that night. Prime example was when Mr. MacDougal (voice teacher and assistant director) was dishing out credit to those with very small parts who have to make themselves shine in the spare time that they do have on stage. "The Imeldas, Max Jacobs, the Primroses, Mimi..."

E-excuse me...? Hello - I'm sorta' playing Agnes, too!! Mimi isn't the only one who's working her ass off - she's just the only one whose been given the chance to stand and stage and prove it!! Ugh...

Again, I tried - I really, REALLY, tried - not to let it get under my skin, and I listened intently as Mr. MacDougal and Mrs. Klein then proceeded to give the old "silence is golden" speech once again. During which, Kayleigh's water bottle tipped over and smacked me on the arm. She whispered "sorry", and I whispered back "it was okay" - and MacDougal had a field day.

"Why is there talking?!" he yelled - at me. "WHAT has this whole conversation been about?!! You, of all people, should know better!! Yadda, yadda, YADDA!! ..."

I was stunned. He continued on and on, asking me "why I needed to talk" - I explained the situation, and he responded with, "Does that NEED talking?! You just pick it up!! Go home! Everybody, just go home!!!"

It's safe to say that I cried...

Wednesday: A tad better - at least I wasn't being yelled at for being polite! Though, we still didn't get the chance to pull through my scene; however, Mimi didn't happen to get stage time either, so we reveled in our lack of needing to be there together. Lol. XD